Miscarriage

Elliot and I found out we were expecting baby #2 and we were both thrilled! We decided to keep it quiet and only tell family… I was sick right from the get go at 4 weeks till about 8. I had been feeling all along how this pregnancy was a lot different from Westen’s. Deep down I felt that something was wrong but I chalked it up to being paranoid and Hormones. We went in for our first appointment when I was almost 10 weeks along. I was so excited. We went into the ultrasound room and the lady started to find the baby. I immediately saw the placenta on the screen and nothing inside and new something was wrong. She said ok I’m going to let you see the doctor now. It took all I had inside me to not start crying right then and there. We found out from the doctor that I was going to miscarry or in the process of miscarrying. He wanted to know if I wanted a d and c and I told him I wanted to go on my own. We were devastated. 

For the next week I was sitting around the house waiting and waiting for the miscarriage to start. I would not wish that upon anyone. I started bleeding and it was a bitter sweet moment. I was excited that I didn’t have to have surgery but totally heartbroken at the fact that it was really happening. About four days later my bleeding started to lighten up. On the fifth day it got extremely heavy. I know something was wrong. I called Elliot balling and told him to come home from work. I continued to bleed in crazy amounts. I’ll save the disgusting details but it was bad! I called the doctor and they told me to come down right away. I rolled up a towel and stuck it in between my legs and went to the doctor. By this time I am freaking out because I keep passing clots the size of baseballs. No joke, it was disgusting and felt like labor. The doctor takes a look and tells me that its not normal and I’ll need to go to the hospital right away. I felt myself start to faint on the table and started yelling saying I’m fainting help me. Elliot was there and I remember my eyes going black and barely being able to see him as I layed down. The other doctor comes running in with an iv and my veins are collapsed. After poking and poking he was able to get the iv in. At this point my body is in shock and I am sweating really bad. They had to get me into a wheel chair to bring me to the hospital. The doctor decides it would be faster to drive me over in his car than wait for an ambulance. Remember I don’t have anything on my lower half! Elliot and the doctor lift me up and put me in the wheel chair. They put this thin sheet over me and proceed to wheel me through the waiting room to go outside. I remember there being a younger guy in the waiting room and I was feeling loopy and I turned to the nurse holding my legs up and said “ woa woa I totally flashed that guy!” So embarrassing! They wheel me outside and lift me in the car. One of the nurses hops in the backseat to hold up my iv. I still have no bottoms on! That poor doctor’s car. Hopefully he was able to get the blood out. We get to the hospital and a couple of nurses try to lift me up and I keep saying “I’m not wearing anything!” The nurse said “Hunny that is the least of our worries right now”… Ya I felt totally violated and it was a busy parking lot. Who knows who was around to catch the action. Anyways they get me inside and start prepping me for surgery. The anesthesiologist comes in and told me because I had lost so much blood that they weren’t going to be ably to give me a spinal. They were really worried about my food coming up so the doctor said that as they were putting me under that I would feel their hand on my throat which was supposed to help my food not come up into my lungs. Talk about claustrophobic. I thought I was going to die. Here I am with a mask over my face and a guy I just met is injecting me with a needle to make me fall asleep while his hand is pressing down on my throat! Ya, not cool. I’ve never been so freaked out in my entire life. 

The surgery went well supposedly after they were able to stop my bleeding. I stayed in the hospital over night so that they could monitor me. I bled for the next week. And had a pounding headache the entire time. It was terrible. I’m so thankful that it is finally over with. It has been a long and strung out process full of emotional and physical pain. I hope I never have to experience anything like this again.